I’m sitting on my patio with a cup of coffee, scrolling through Instagram, and I see a post about former Atlanta police Officer, Garrett Rolfe. A little background: this is the officer facing charges for shooting Rayshard Brooks in a Wendy’s drive-thru on June 12th after video went viral on social media.
According to the article, Rolfe is facing “a charge of aggravated assault and two counts of violating his oath of office” but is out on bond with the following specific conditions: “required to wear an ankle monitor, turn over his passport and comply with a given curfew” (6 PM) allowing him to “leave home for medical, legal, or work-related obligations”. Now that you have the context: the article was about how Rolfe left for vacation to Daytona Beach, Florida (where they tracked his ankle monitor) on August 2nd.
So now I’m irritated. This is just more proof that the consequences of “breaking the rules” are applied differently to different people. As of this morning, the DA and Rayshard’s widow are “calling for” Rolfe’s bond to be revoked, according to CNN. Why was the bond not revoked IMMEDIATELY for violating the terms? How many people go directly to jail for “violating probation”?
It is also more proof of a systemic problem in that the people making and enforcing laws do not feel that they have to follow those same laws. In other words, the people who make and enforce laws want to be in control of everyone else but consider themselves exempt. (As a public servant,) Rolfe murdered someone (while at work) and is out on bond. George Floyd, who was suspected of forgery, is now DEAD. But I digress. . .
So now I’m already irritated when a notification pops up on my phone with an Apple News article. I originally clicked on the notification by accident but ended up reading the People article anyway. Daisy Coleman committed suicide last night. She was 23 and an advocate for sexual assault victims, co-founding SafeBae, “a survivor funded, student-led national organization whose mission is to end sexual assault among middle and high school students”. I was not familiar with her story so here’s a recap - this happened in Missouri, where the age of consent is 14:
The evening of January 8, 2012 started with Daisy, then 14 years old, and her friend, Paige, sneaking out to attend a party with some older kids from school. The night ended with Daisy being left on her front porch for hours in sub-zero temperatures, intoxicated and wearing only a t-shirt and yoga pants. Matt, a popular 17-year-old football player, was subsequently charged with felony sexual assault and his friend, Jordan, who videotaped the sexual encounter, was charged with felony exploitation of a minor. 2 months later, the charges were dropped. Daisy and her family were ridiculed, harassed and bullied in their small hometown in person and online nationally, up to and including Daisy’s mother being fired from her job. After a public outcry, the case was reopened.
2 years later, Jordan’s charges were completely dropped (the iPhone video was deleted) and Matt, who claimed the sex was consensual, was sentenced to 4 months in jail, which were suspended; 2 years’ probation; 100 hours of community service and fined $1,800 toward counseling for the victim. The charge: misdemeanor child endangerment (for giving Daisy vodka and leaving her on the porch, “unable to fend for herself” – nothing at all pertaining to the sexual assault charges).
Matt’s grandfather is an influential Republican former 4-term Missouri state representative and Matt’s father is a pastor. Between 2012 (incident) and 2014 (final sentencing), while Matt’s mom talked to the press about Matt being “assassinated” by the “public glare”, Daisy attempted suicide 3 times. Last night, August 4, 2020, she was successful in her final attempt.
So now I’m crying. Not just for Rayshard who died because he fell asleep in a Wendy’s drive-thru; or Daisy who couldn’t handle the pain she endured through NO FAULT OF HER OWN; or for Daisy’s friend Paige, who, it was discovered later, had also been sexually assaulted that night and will now mourn the death of a friend. Not just for Breonna Taylor, Atatiana Jefferson or Daniel Anderl; who were all doing mundane things with family members in their own homes when they were shot and killed. But for EVERYONE who is just minding their own business and encounters a shitty person.
There are obvious and clear undertones of racism, sexism, classism, abuses of power and other nastiness here. But the bottom line is shitty people. Shitty people come from all backgrounds, are all colors, work in all professions and are all ages, genders and sexes. The one thing they all have in common? They’ve forgotten the Golden Rule.
I say “forgotten” because I am well aware that people are a product of their own environments and experiences. But I also feel like everyone has heard the concept in one way or another, especially since, according to the “Encyclopedia of Religion and Ethics”, “this concept appears prominently in Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, Judaism, Taoism, Zoroastrianism and the rest of the world’s major religions”. The entry “Golden Rule” appears in Volume 6, page 310; published in 1914. I’m not religious, but a whole lot of this planet’s people are. To me, religious or not, this is just basic humanity and how everyone should conduct oneself. And so I leave you with this, from page 312:
“What the maxim implies is that we are, as far as possible, to put ourselves in the place of others; to consider what we would wish to be done to us, were we in their circumstances; to adopt the role, as Adam Smith puts it, of impartial spectators; and then, having made up our minds what in the circumstances, as so viewed, we should wish to be done to us, to act accordingly.”
Or just don’t be a shitty person. It’s not that hard.